No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
