Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
