I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
