Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
