the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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