Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
FUCK WHALES
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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