I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
