I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
