Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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