Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
3pm strippers are depressing
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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