Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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