It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
last night I used snow as a chaser
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
