That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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