We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
