i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
