they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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