On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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