STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
