Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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