i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
