You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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