Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
