Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
