Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
