Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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