so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
