like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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