As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
