like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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