No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
