PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
