I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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