Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
