Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize