i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
