what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
