So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I believe in your delicious
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
