hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
