Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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