I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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