she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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