Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
