i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
