i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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