i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
