what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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