I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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