I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize