bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
