question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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