i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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