Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
