if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize