i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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