Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
