Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
