I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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