we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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