haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
