Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
