Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
