I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
