you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
